


Iris

by AdriannaSharp



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Hurt, Self-Loathing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-22 08:05:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13759812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdriannaSharp/pseuds/AdriannaSharp
Summary: When Usagi is revealed as the Moon Princess, Minako loses everything and finds herself reflecting on the journey so far, including Kunzite. Inspired by the song Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls





	Iris

**Author's Note:**

> Hello lovely people. So this is an old story that I started ages ago but couldn't quite get it out how I wanted to. But I rediscovered it the other day and actually managed to write it how I always imagined it. YAY!
> 
> It all started ages ago when I listened to Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls and had Minako and Kunzite on my mind. Now, I can't hear the song without imagining it from Minako's POV about how she wants to free Kunzite from Beryl. This story takes place during episode 8/9 of Sailor Moon Crystal.

It was never supposed to happen like this. She had plans. She thought for months about how to best keep her princess safe. She had backup plans, ways to throw the enemy off track.

She decided not to reveal herself until absolutely necessary. And even when she did reveal herself, she would reveal herself as the princess to keep the focus away from Usagi. Those were the only parts that went according to plan. In all her planning, she hadn’t counted on Serenity’s reincarnation being so damn brave.

She had been on surveillance of the senshi for months before she revealed herself. She wanted to see them. She needed to know that they had really been reborn.

Sailor Moon surfaced a few months after Minako regained her memories and she knew she had to find her as soon as possible. She needed to keep her safe.

She was suspicious the first time she saw a girl her own age with twin buns and pigtails. After a few days of surveillance on the girl, Minako saw her transform and dive into battle. She saw her fellow senshi join their princess and she was overjoyed. Her last memories of them were on the battlefield and to see them so whole and alive again took her breath away.

That joy was what sustained her those couple of months after finding them. She was constantly on surveillance. She barely slept. She followed them into battle but only ever stayed on the sidelines. She studied them, she watched them. She made sure they were okay. She stayed up on rooftops near her princess’ home at night to make sure she was okay. She couldn’t reveal herself until absolutely necessary and the longer the enemy spent on false trails, the better.

But then, through it all, she caught glimpses of the shitennou and it felt like they were taken away all over again. Their features were twisted and their eyes had a demonic red tinge to them. Inevitably, she found herself thinking of the men they used to be.

Zoisite’s coy smirk had an evil intent to it now. Instead of promising a witty remark or a new bit of knowledge, it promised to deliver pain. Nephrite somehow stood taller. But it wasn’t in a strong, confident kind of way. It was like he was looking down his nose at everyone. Jadeite's boyish charm was gone. Instead, he just seemed like someone who had grown up too fast and made all the wrong choices. As for Kunzite, it was so much harder to see the evil in him. He still looked the same and the first time she saw him, she almost revealed herself. His eyes kept her back. The last time she saw his eyes like that was when he stood over her to kill her. So she kept her distance, kept her watch at the man she once loved so dearly.

Then she heard his voice in her head demanding the Silver Crystal. His voice was so like the man she knew and not at the same time. It still had the same deep bass that made her shiver in anticipation but it was different now. In place of the stubborn gruffness he used to intimidate new recruits, it was harsh and terrifying, and she had no doubt that he would carry through on his threat to obliterate the masses.

She thought back to when he was first taken from her back in their past lives. He seemed to know her then. Well, only to a point. He knew her weaknesses and how to use them when he fought against her and the Silver Millennium. In this life, there was nothing. No flash of recognition or glint of familiarity.

She didn’t know which was worse.

Standing on top of Tokyo Tower, she tried to put it behind her. She tried to be strong, but she wasn’t as strong as Venus was. It hurt too much to see him that way and she couldn’t put their past behind her. She found herself calling out to him, seeing if she could trigger something, anything in him. She couldn’t bring herself to fight him again but she couldn’t let her guard down.

And in a single moment, when Usagi had to be so damn brave, she lost everything.

She should have found the courage to fight him. Now she had nothing. Her cover was blown as the princess, the Silver Crystal was revealed, and the prince was in the hands of the enemy. In the hands of Kunzite. She had no cards left to play. She was supposed to keep Usagi safe. But she was a coward. She should have fought him before Usagi showed up. She let her own damn memories get in the way of her true mission.

After the girls calmed Usagi as much as they could, they took her home. They offered to stay but she turned them down, clearly exhausted and needing some time to herself. The rest of the senshi thought that maybe they should get something to eat, to refuel after such an exhausting night.

Minako turned them down, feigning exhaustion. Of course she wasn’t tired. How could she be? Everything went wrong tonight. Everything she was fighting for, trying to prevent, happened anyways. Adrenaline still pumped through her system so she went to the only place she could work it out.

The gym was quiet. It was 11:30 on a Tuesday night, after all. She was thankful for it. Having spectators around while she worked out her aggression might not be the best thing.

 When she first got her memories back, she found a 24 hour gym and kept a duffel bag of gear there. She promised to train her body and get it into peak shape but tonight was different. Tonight, she needed to punch some things out of her system.

Gods, she sounded like Jupiter.

She taped her hands and went straight for the punching bags.

She started slow. A few small, slow jabs and dodges from invisible enemies.

Enemies.

Beryl’s face came back into her mind. She punched harder.

Why did this have to happen again? Hadn’t they been through enough? Weren’t their past lives punishment enough? Endymion and Serenity, no, Usagi and Mamoru didn’t deserve this. This was her mission and she failed.

She circled the punching bag, staying light on her feet.

The shitennou didn’t deserve this either. They deserved to be standing beside Mamoru like the senshi did for Usagi. They deserved to be normal. They deserved to find love.

Her eyes widened and her shoulders dropped but she kept punching. Why did she have to lose him twice?

She remembered Kunzite as he was in their past lives. He was warm and caring, if a little bit stubborn and stoic at first. But that face was quickly replaced with the one from this life: cold, lifeless, and completely bent to his mistress’ will.

She punched faster.

There had to be a way she could get through to him. She so wanted to save him from that witch.

She punched even faster.

A few tears creeped out but she pushed them back. She promised herself months ago that she wouldn’t cry over him again.

But this was their second chance. It wasn’t supposed to go like this again.

After she got her memories back, she tried looking for him. She hoped he would have been reborn too. If she could find him, maybe they could try again. Maybe they could finally live in peace. She tried searching for him but she may as well have just yelled into the air for all the good it did.

She struck the punching bag hard and felt her knuckles split from the impact. She hadn’t gone this hard in a while. Glancing down between blows, she noticed that her knuckles were bleeding. But only slightly. She stopped for a moment and pulled the tape over her knuckles. It wasn’t that she wanted to fix herself. She just didn’t want to get blood on the punching bag. She needed the pain. She deserved it. And the growing pain in her knuckles was a welcome distraction.

She punched even harder.

There had to be a way to get him back. She wouldn’t fight him again. She couldn’t. She didn’t have Venus’ resolve or her bravery. She was just Minako and she still saw the man she had been in love with when she was Venus. She saw the man who understood her burden as a leader, the man who would have laid down his life for his prince.

The man who promised that no matter what happened, they would find a way to be together.

She crumpled to her knees and fell onto her hands. She didn’t try to stop the tears anymore. Everything was going so wrong but it would have been so much easier to cope with if she had him by her side.

“Damn it,” she muttered. She was shaking between sobs and gave the floor a weak punch. “Why did you have to be taken away again? You’re stronger than this. You have to be. Why can’t you just recognize me, you idiot?”

Minako’s quiet sobs echoed through the empty gym. When her tears finally ran dry, she found herself able to think a little clearer. Yes, her plans were ruined. Yes, Kunzite still stood as her enemy. No, this was never what she planned.

But she was going to put things right if it killed her.

 


End file.
